I'm not really a FAST type of person. I really like to take my time on things. That's why due dates are a big NO NO for me! Whenever there's a project at school and it's due by so-and-so date. I feel the pressure. I do it though, but it doesn't feel like I do it to the best of my abilities. So whenever I turn/hand in a project at school, I feel very agrivated and depressed at the same time. If only time can be a little longer. Sigh. After watching that movie "ClockStoppers", I really want to get my hands on one of those watches. So when I need more time, I could just use my watch to slow down time! Oh, If only, If only.
I don't think I'm a whole as a person. I've been noticing this for a while now, but I feel as if I have two different kinds of lives. One at home and another outside the house. And you know how people have certain thoughts about you from your outer personality? Yeah, people seem to depict me as a very happy, energetic, spirited person that I am. I AM THOUGH. But I have other feelings that I've sort of can not be seen to the public eye. At first, I felt like these feelings won't last long and I'll just forget about it. But as time goes by, those feelings became strong and it seems as though I think about these feelings everyday! These feelings though, I want it to be expressed together with what people depict me to be. That way, I can feel as a whole, but I don't think people will accept me that way. So is it okay to be different? Is it okay to change into something that would make you feel better about yourself? Can I change JUST for myself because changing into the person I want to become will make me feel more whole? And there's nothing wrong with doing the things that you want to do right? And And there's nothing wrong with being passionate and feeling inspirational with this feeling?! I guess I'm feeling these things because high school is almost going to be over and I think a lot about stupid/exciting things after high school. But those stupid things, I really WANT to do! I have a big dream that I want to accomplish in the future and I really hope that it will come true. Like, "furrealz dawg"!
Yeah, typing this up made me realize that each and every person is different. There's probably no one in this world that will accect whatever your wishes are. And there's always someone that will always critize you. They'll probably think you're stupid for ever doing such-and-such. But isn't that testing your passion? Isn't that testing your strive for whatever you want to accomplish? Everyone has their own different opinion on things.
UGH, I feel like I'm speaking nonsense!
^^ Don't bother with the Japanese, I'm practicing >.<;; I'm trying to skip Japanese 3 and go on to Japanese 4. Haha.