YabaiSoup (yabaisoup) wrote,

I feel really bad right now. I feel so selfish. I always do this. I feel like, I always use people to bring only myself happiness. Even though people say, "It's allright. Don't worry about it" I still feel bad. Cause it's that feeling where they know that you're using them. And I just hate thatttt. Like I don't know, it happened today. Cause tomorrow I'm supposed to go with my friend to this Conference Meeting. And it was just supposed to be me and her. But, I don't know, I asked the guy that I liked if he was going. And I kinda asked my friend if she was willing to give that guy that I liked a ride to and from the Conference Meeting. I FEEL SO BAD. I feel like I'm using her. ): And, i didn't mean toooooooo! I felt bad cause i know my friend is not really a person that would really give rides, you know. I wish could drive. I wish I could give myself and other people rides. I dont' want to feel dependent on other people anymore. :\ I hate it when I ask people to drive me home cause I know they only do it just because they want me to be safe and they don't want me to walk, but I know it's troublesome for them. Man, i just want to say, I'M REALLY SORRY IF I'M TROUBLESOME TO ANYONE. Sighh... I don't really know what to do right now.

So yeah, I kinda ran out of passion for Japanese. My Japanese teacher this year sucks. I really don't like her. She blames us for everything. And she thinks we are a failure as students. What kind of teacher says that?! She doesn't really take in our comments seriously because she feels like she's being attacked. I don't think she realizes that she can't really change student's minds really fast. She should think of changing herself rather than giving us a hard time and saying we're ROBOTS. Yeah, she says we're ROBOTS. This one time, for the whoel class period, she made us listen to this Vocabulary and Grammar listening thing. And it's like, we listen to it once, and she EXPECTS us to learn EVERYTHING. Just like that. It's stupid. Well, yeah, I don't know. When she became my teacher, it's like, I'm not interested in learning the language anymore. Before, last year, i used to LOVE the language. I used to REALLY LIKE coming to school everyday just to learn a new grammar pattern, or a new Kanji. Now, we don't do anything like that. It's like, we watch anime... And Japanese dramas... And she thinks that we know all of the Japanese kanji. And it's like, WTH woman, calm down, we're only teenagers. She thinks of us as real Japanese people, and we're only GAIKOKUJINS. She should treat us as a GAIKOKUJIN rather than treating us as NIHONJINS when we're really not. Yeah, I lost my passion.
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